what people say
Trusting someone with your intimate thoughts, feelings, and details about your relationships is difficult. Trusting someone to speak into sensitive areas of your life -- such as your parenting approach, communication style, and interpersonal interactions -- can be uncomfortable. Here is what some people who have trusted me in those areas have to say about working together.
"During our daughter's freshman year of high school, she was struggling in a lot of ways. We were also struggling to adjust our parenting stye to a new phase of life and didn't really know where to turn or how to get help. Clair worked with our whole family to equip us and help us practice new approaches to our relationships. A year later we continue to see the benefits from our work with Clair. Clair is warm, relational, extremely competent and does a beautiful job listening well. She provides practical short and long-term resources for growing in healthy thinking, practices and relationships."
No "Quick Fixes"
"Clair is my go-to person when I am struggling with parenting. I pride myself on being a calm person, and until having children, never knew I was capable of experiencing rage in relation to the two little people I love most in the world. When I can't think straight, I call Clair. She is imminently thoughtful and reasonable. She takes a clear problem-solving approach, and thinks clearly when I cannot. She is able to share both an understanding of my point of view and experiences, as well as an understanding of the developmental, emotional, and cognitive perspectives of my children. She is humble and willing to talk about the times when she has also struggled as a parent. And she always keeps her eye on the prize, the long-term goal of raising children who grow to be generous, kind, thoughtful, hardworking, compassionate adults. Rather than offering feeble 'quick fixes', she helps me to live in relationship with my children in ways that are growth enhancing for each of us."
In our house, we call it "clairapy". It is what you get when you sit down with someone who listens with intent and without judgment, helps you process your thoughts and feelings and make sense of your experiences. It is an opportunity to share openly in a safe and trusting environment, to be authentic and honest, without concern or fear of being judged or misunderstood.